Sweet Melissa Sweets

5.25.2011

2011-06-02T15:30:00.001-05:00

Our baby boy has arrived!! He actually arrived about a week ago, exactly one week before his due date! I will post a birth story later, when he isn't fussy in my arms! Here are some debut pics!

Introducing: Elliott Oliver

Born May 25, 2011 at 10:52 am

Weighing 7 lbs 3 oz and 20 inches long

Nursery Update

2011-05-15T15:07:00.000-05:00

Well, things are almost completely ready for Elliott's arrival! He is full term, and we are just eagerly waiting his arrival. I am trying to get through the rest of the year at work before he comes -- we have two more weeks left!

Yesterday we finally picked out a dresser for his room, but it won't arrive for 4-6 weeks! Fortunately, we don't have to use his crib for a while, since he will be spending at least his first month in the co-sleeper in our bedroom.

His baby shower was on April 30th, and it was so amazing! We felt an overwhelming amount of love and support from our friends and family. He received so many thoughtful, sentimental, home-made gifts! What talented friends and family we have! Our friend, Jenn, made Elliott a crocheted dog doll. When she informed us that it was an Ollie dog, with head tilt and stubby tail included, I lost it. Tears were flowing all around. I know that Elliott will love that Ollie dog replica. Octavia made us a beautiful hand crocheted quilt for tummy time! My grandma made us an extremely soft, green, hand-knitted quilt for cuddling in the cooler months. Chris' great Aunt Shirley and Uncle Jack hand quilted an I Spy quilt! He also received a hand-knitted quilt from a past neighbor of mine when I was growing up. My sister-in-law made the most AMAZING mobile with hand felted forest creatures. All of my closest friends were there as well as my closest girls from KU!! Monique came all the way from Colorado, Jackie and Roy from Dallas, Heather from Houston, and Andy and Andrea came from Atlanta! Shawnee came down from Kalamazoo for the occasion as well! I was so touched that they all made the trek just for Elliott's baby shower! It was a great, busy, reunion weekend.

Nursery (Sorry it's blurry, I blame it on the hunger shakes)

Another view of the nursery

Blurry closet

Crib with beautiful prints given to us by Belen and Drew

Crib full of clothes and Bum Genius diapers (yes, we are planning on cloth diapering -- go green!)

I Spy quilt from Aunt Shirley and Uncle Jack

J'aime's beautiful mobile

Nancy's hand knitted quilt

Octavia's tummy time crocheted quilt

Crocheted Ollie dog from Jenn K

Print from Tiny Showcase and Elliott bowl thrown on the wheel and glazed by Chris

Elliott at 34 weeks!

2011-04-21T20:10:00.000-05:00

The one benefit to having elevated blood pressure has been that I get a "free" ultrasound that I would not have gotten otherwise!! Today, we got to see Elliott in 3D, and we find him to be pretty darn cute! The sonographer estimated that he weighs about 5 lbs 6 oz which puts him in the 54th percentile -- almost smack dab in the average range. Only 3-6 more weeks (depending on my blood pressure) until he makes his debut into the outside world!!!!

Snuggled in

The sonographer informed us that he has a bunch of hair which was floating around in the amniotic fluid!!

Chin, lips, nose

2D profile -- what a schnozz!

Referred to by the sonographer as the "turtle", here is his manlihood for all the internet to see!

Happy Birthday . . .

2011-04-19T15:44:00.000-05:00

Poodle in the sky. We miss you very much! You would have been a whopping 8 years old today. I hope you are running around the fluffy clouds and celebrating with doggie cake.

Florida Dreamin'

2011-02-28T19:14:00.000-06:00

Nothing like having some delicious citrus to brighten up the Winter blues! This Key Lime pie recipe from Emeril is DELICIOUS and EASY!! I made one for my Sister-In-Law for her Birthday, and everyone loved it! I urge you to make it the next time you need a touch of tropical in the drab of a Midwest Winter!

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/2 cup granulated sugar
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick butter) melted
2 (14-ounce) cans condensed milk
1 cup key lime or regular lime juice
2 whole eggs
1 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 tablespoon lime zest

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

In a bowl, mix the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and butter with your hands. Press the mixture firmly into a 9-inch pie pan, and bake until brown, about 20 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool to room temperature before filling.

Lower the oven temperature to 325 degrees F.

In a separate bowl, combine the condensed milk, lime juice, and eggs. Whisk until well blended and place the filling in the cooled pieshell. Bake in the oven for 15 minutes and allow to chill in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours.

Once chilled, combine the sour cream and powdered sugar and spread over the top of the pie using a spatula. Sprinkle the lime zest as a garnish on top of the sour cream and serve chilled.

He Bares the Cone of Shame!

2011-02-28T19:02:00.000-06:00

Oh, our poor little Escher. We decided to go ahead and have his stomach tacked when he got neutered. Stomach tacking is a procedure that is usually done in emergency situations when a dog's stomach flips upside down (gastric torsion), which is what ultimately resulted in Ollie's death. However, it can be done as a preventative measure, and we wanted to reduce the risk of a repeat of Ollie's tragedy. Sadly, this is what had to happen (Warning: don't continue to scroll down if you are squeamish about wounds):

That incision consists of 24 staples and is at least 7 inches long, and that is in addition to the incision from his neutering which is just some internal sutures.

Poor buddy. He is tolerating the "cone of shame" very well, but we all can't wait until he can take it off. He is terrorizing Wembley with it, slamming into the backs of our knees with hard plastic, and scratching the paint off the walls as he runs into the corners. He's a mess.

My baby jumped ship!

2011-02-09T14:02:00.000-06:00

I don't know what it looks like on your computer, but my widget that has the baby countdown looks like our baby left the womb! All I can see is this long umbilical cord and the baby is off in cyber space. It's a little disturbing! I want my baby back! Mmmm, ribs . . . I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs.

Under Construction

2011-01-31T20:38:00.000-06:00

It has been 3 weeks since I posted last! My how the time flies! Not too much exciting going on here, just cruising along in the words of my Ob.

We had some exciting arrivals recently, courtesy of Chris' overly generous uncle! Thanks to Uncle Mike, our nursery is really starting to take shape! He sent us our glider/ottoman, our stroller/car seat, and our crib/mattress is on its way!! Over the weekend Chris and I tried to hang some new blinds in the nursery, but alas, Lowe's doesn't have our size blinds in store, so we have to order them online. We did, however, put together the glider, I put together some new bookshelves, and we hung some floating shelves from Ikea on the wall that have been sitting in closets ever since we purchased them probably 5 years ago!!

Here are some very much under construction photos of the nursery so far!

Baren closet -- we will surely add more storage units and maybe another bar for hanging items!

Look at how the book shelf cries out, beckoning for children's books!

Blindless window -- the bare wall will be the home of the crib once it arrives.

There will be picture frames, stuffed animals, organizing bins/baskets, decorations on the shelves, and hopefully a cute little owl lamp on the end table!

Hey! Look what else is under construction -- my belly seems to change every week!

Obviously we have a lot of work to do and finishing touches to add to make the nursery what it will become, but I am getting pretty darn excited! The "theme" if that's what you want to call it will be little forest critters with a color scheme of orange, green, and brown. I think Elliot is going to love it!

PS -- Take the poll, how should we spell Eliot/Elliott?!

Empanadas de mierda

2011-01-04T21:07:00.000-06:00

Second night in a row I am cooking a nice, healthy dinner from scratch! AND blogging about it! I'm impressed with myself. Tonight I made some empanadas that were stuffed with mashed sweet potatoes, black beans, cumin, chipotle chile powder, green onion, and they were supposed to have poblano peppers which I couldn't find at ANY of our stores this week, so I substituted diced green chiles from a can -- definitely not the same, but they worked. As Chris and I were assembling the empanadas, a few of them looked less than beautiful, so I said it was a shitty empanada, which turned into Empanadas de Mierda, hence the vulgar blog title.

The empanadas were good! We dipped them in salsa verde, and I will be eating them for lunch the rest of the week as the recipe made 10 empanadas!

Sweet Potato and Black Bean Empanadas

9 ounces all-purpose flour (2 cups)
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/3 cup canola oil
1/4 cup cold water
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 poblano chile
1 tablespoon cumin seeds
1 cup mashed cooked sweet potatoes
1 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1/3 cup chopped green onions
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon ancho chile powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 egg white, lightly beaten
1. Weigh or lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups, and level with a knife. Combine flour and 3/4 teaspoon salt in a large bowl, stirring with a whisk. Combine canola oil, 1/4 cup water, 1 tablespoon vinegar, and egg in a medium bowl. Gradually add oil mixture to flour mixture, stirring just until moist. Knead lightly until smooth. Shape dough into a ball, and wrap in plastic wrap. Chill for 1 hour.
2. Preheat broiler.
3. Place poblano on a foil-lined baking sheet; broil 8 minutes or until blackened, turning after 6 minutes. Place in a paper bag; close tightly. Let stand 15 minutes. Peel chile; cut in half lengthwise. Discard seeds and membranes. Finely chop.
4. Preheat oven to 400°.
5. Cook the cumin seeds in a large saucepan over medium heat 1 minute or until toasted, stirring constantly. Place cumin in a clean spice or coffee grinder; process until ground. Combine cumin, poblano, sweet potatoes, and next 5 ingredients (through 1/2 teaspoon salt) in a large bowl; mash with a fork until almost smooth.
6. Divide dough into 10 equal portions, shaping each into a ball. Roll each dough portion into a (5-inch) circle on a lightly floured surface. Working with 1 portion at a time (cover remaining dough to keep from drying), spoon 3 level tablespoons poblano mixture into center of each circle. Moisten edges of dough with egg white; fold dough over filling. Press edges together to seal. Place empanadas on a large baking sheet coated with cooking spray. Cut 3 diagonal slits across top of each empanada. Bake at 400° for 16 minutes or until lightly browned.

In addition to making a healthy dinner (we had a spinach salad along with the empanadas), I baked my favorite Christmas cookies! I was sad that I didn't get to make this recipe at cookie bake this year. I had made the dough and brought it to Faith's house prepared to make the cookies, and then wound up with the stomach flu, leaving Faith to finish and enjoy the cookies herself. Poor Faith (not really). So, here they are, my all time favorite Christmas cookie, Chocolate Filled Russian Tea Cookies:

Recipe:

1 cup butter or margarine, softened

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup finely chopped walnuts

48 Brach's milk chocolate stars (from 14-oz bag)

Sugar Coating:

1 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon red sugar

1 tablespoon green sugar

(Christmas being over, I just omitted the red and green sugars)

Heat oven to 400F. In large bowl, beat butter, 1/2 cup powdered sugar and the vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until well mixed. On low speed, beat in flour, salt and walnuts.

for each cookie, shape scant measuring tablespoonful dough around chocolate star to make 1-inch ball; place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.

Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until set and bottoms begin to turn golden brown. Meanwhile, in small bowl, mix sugar coating ingredients.

Immediately remove cookies from cookie sheets, roll in sugar coating. Cool completely on cooling racks, about 30 minutes. Roll in sugar coating again.

Dinner, Dessert, and Good Reads

2011-01-03T20:40:00.000-06:00

I haven't made any resolutions this year. I never keep them. But, there are always and definitely things I would like to change about myself and habits I would like to begin. I accomplished a few last night when I had a fire lit under me, the fire being the fact that yesterday was my last day of Christmas Break freedom before it was back to work today. I always get to the last day of break and regret all of the things I should have accomplished. One of those things this year was reading. I am reading an excellent book right now by Haruki Murakami. I have read two other books by him, and have liked them both, but this one is my favorite.

This book is a translation from the original Japanese version. Japanese writing is definitely different from Western-style writing. We are a very linear-thinking society, meaning our stories typically have an introduction, a plot with a climactic event, and then a resolution. Murakami's writing tends to intertwine several plots into one book, often without a climactic event, and even more often without a concrete resolution. This style could be difficult for some who are used to the Western way of thinking, and it is hard for me at times, but he writes about very interesting, fantastical subject matter. It would be fun to have a book club question session on one of his books.

In addition to whirl-wind reading last night, in an attempt to make up for my laziness over break, I baked some MORE cookies. I couldn't pass up the on-sale candies at Target after Christmas, so I decided to make mint chocolate M&M cookies.

I adapted Dorie Greenspan's "World's Best Chocolate Chip Cookies" to suit my needs, and came up with the following recipe:

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon mint extract
2 large eggs
1 9.9 oz bag mint M&Ms

1. Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment or silicone mats.2. Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, salt, and baking soda.3. Working with a stand mixer, preferably fitted with the paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the butter at medium speed for about 1 minute, until smooth. Add the sugars and beat for another 2 minutes or so, until well-blended. Beat in the vanilla and mint extracts. Add the eggs one at a time, beating for 1 minute after each egg goes in. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the dry ingredients in 3 portions, mixing only until each addition is incorporated. On low speed, or by hand with a rubber spatula, mix in the mint M&Ms.4. Spoon the dough by slightly rounded tablespoonfuls onto the baking sheets, leaving about 2 inches between spoonfuls.5. Bake the cookies- one sheet at a time and rotating the sheet at the midway point- for 10-12 minutes, or until they are slightly firm; they may still be a little soft in the middle, and that's just fine. Pull the sheet from the oven and allow the cookies to rest for 1 minute, then carefully, using a wide metal spatula, transfer them to racks to cool to room temperature.6. Repeat with the remainder of the dough, cooling the baking sheets between batches.

The cookies turned out really well, and go famously with leftover limited edition peppermint ice cream!

Another habit I would so like to get into is to plan meals each week, and STICK TO THEM!! I tend to buy all the ingredients for recipes I would like to make, then get lazy and eat out or just eat something simple from the fridge. Tonight I made a really good Cooking Light recipe:

The recipe calls for orecchiette noodles, but our store didn't have them this time, so I substituted campanelle noodles, which were really good! It was also a very simple, fresh tasting pasta. I will definitely make this again.

I hope to blog about each dinner I make (at least the ones that are fairly interesting), but you know how life gets in the way. We shall see . . . no promises.

What is your favorite go-to pasta dish?

What are you reading these days?

Ringing in the New Year

2011-01-01T20:30:00.001-06:00

So much for a creative blog title . . . there aren't many words that rhyme with 11: heaven, seven, that's about it, right?

Anyway, we had a very laid back, but nice, New Year's Eve this year. Of course, we couldn't get too wild since I couldn't party hard as a pregnant lady.

We spent an hour or so of the day in our basement making sure we avoided any of the tornadoes that hit pretty close to our home. Once the storms were pretty much out of the way, we took the dogs to a trail near our parents' houses to let the dogs run in the 60 degree weather!! Insane weather we are having in the end of December!! Then, we headed over to my in-laws' house. They had a lovely spread of appetizer-type foods that were all delicious. We spent some time hangin with the babies, and the rest of the family, playing a little Scattergories. Then, Chris and I had to scoot home to drop off the dogs and change clothes for our dinner.

We met some friends at a really nice Peruvian restaurant called Mango in downtown St. Louis. The service there was so nice. As soon as we got there and I explained that I couldn't drink and would have a water, the bar tender offered to make me a "mocktail" of whatever drink I chose from the menu. I got the mango mojito mocktail, and it was awesome!!

Delicious plantain chips and salsa verde

They were serving a prix fixe menu for New Year's Eve which consisted of your choice of selected appetizers, a salad, an entree, a dessert, and your choice of champagne. I did indeed order a champagne, even though they offered to make me another mocktail for free, but I decided I wanted a sip of the bubbly to toast the New Year, and would then pass the rest on to someone else.

First Course:

Katie got the Sashimi (which I couldn't sample)

The rest of us chose the beef tenderloin wrapped in bacon atop sweet potato puree -- yum!

Second Course:

There was only one salad, which consisted of field greens topped with mangos and roasted red peppers. The dressing was a little too tangy/salty? for my taste, but I still ate it all!

Third Course:

Chris got the halibut that was Asian style, topped with delicious veggies and all served on top of a crab and scallop puree that was amazing!

I got the chicken that was rolled around a cheese? and spinach atop a potato puree with asparagus -- it was delicious and cooked well, not too dry at all!

Jenn got the pork tenderloin that came with a really good potato/aji amarillo pepper/fava bean puree!

Katie ordered the scallops that were served with fried plantain/sweet potatoes and asparagus.

Tim got the steak tenderloin that was so delicious and spicy! I am not sure what it was served with, but it must have been good, because he didn't share that part! ;)

Fourth Course:

I ordered the sponge cake with dulce de leche (caramel) filling, which was really tasty as the caramel oozed out of the cake with each forkful!

Chris and Jenn ordered the chocolate torta, which was also delicious, and apparently a family recipe

Katie ordered the mango sorbet, which was awesome, as mango sorbets usually are!

Fifth Course:

My glass of pretty pink Moscato champagne, that I mostly gave away.

Toast! To 2011!

Happy New Year Everyone!!! It's going to be a good one!

It's Got "Junk"!

2010-12-30T13:04:00.000-06:00

Funny how those motherly instincts must kick in super early. I predicted from about 10 weeks pregnant on that the baby was a boy. Today we all (Chris, my mom, dad, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and the twins) crammed into the ultrasound room so that I could prove how right I was!

It's a boy!!

Beautiful profile

Sucking his thumb!

Waving his fingers at the camera!

We can't wait to meet little Elliot Oliver! He's going to be super cute -- well, he already is!

Upcoming Surprise . . .

2010-12-28T16:22:00.001-06:00

. . . will be revealed this Thursday!!

Snow Puppies

2010-12-28T15:59:00.000-06:00

I just love the cuteness that is my two pups, Wembley and Escher. See for yourself!

Camo Poodle

Wembley Face

Sweet Face

Head Tilt (just like Ollie used to do!!)

Vicious Wheaten attacks Poodle

Penguin Poodle

Snow Nose

It was so cool to have a beautiful white Christmas this year as the backdrop for all of our festivities! The dogs loved the snow and were able to wear themselves out without bringing in mud afterwards!

Christmas Day

2010-12-28T15:51:00.001-06:00

We have made it a tradition that every year, when the Italian neighborhood in Saint Louis (called "The Hill") has its annual Christmas walk, we go to pick up a loaf of Panettone. We then freeze the loaf for the following two weeks, until Christmas morning. We wake up Christmas morning and I get started making Panettone French Toast, from this recipe. It is amazingly delicious. Chris oohs and aahs over it each year.

We don't yet have a solid tradition on present opening, as we don't have children . . . yet. We ended up giving each other our presents on Christmas Eve Eve this year. It's so hard to wait! So, after making Christmas breakfast, we prepared the house for our family get together at our place. I didn't take as many pictures as I should have, especially given that I have a new, awesome camera! But, the table looked beautiful, the house was clean, and you can see the massive amount of presents under our tree:

We have also started a tradition where everyone wears pajamas to Christmas dinner. We all enjoy the comfy theme! In order to stick with the cozy theme, I cooked up a meal of all comfort foods! We delighted in the BEST macaroni and cheese (adapted considerably from a recipe by Barefoot Contessa), pasta con broccoli, and marinated chicken. My mother-in-law brought delicious foccacia rolls and peppermint ice cream to accompany the chocolate gooey butter cake from our CSA. The only non-comfort food was to be brought by my mother, a salad, which she forgot due to her post-surgery brain (she had a hip replacement December 14th and is doing mostly awesome!). After dinner we opened the towering pile of presents and chatted while we waited for my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and the niece and nephew to arrive from Mexico, MO (where J'aime's family lives).

The babies had a fun time with the wrapping and tissue paper, as is expected from 8 month olds!

Okay, so they did actually play with their new toys as well as the wrappings. They really liked their new puzzle and their plush farm set! I'm sure they will love the books and blocks they received as well!

It was a wonderful and relaxing Christmas! Thanks to my awesome family!

Gallery of men that are ginger

2010-12-16T16:47:00.000-06:00

I wanted to make gingerbread men (and women) this year, so that's what I did. However, with the massive quantity of cookies I planned on baking I couldn't possibly decorate all of those gingerbread people myself. So, I put Chris to work. Can you guess which ones he did before I explained that we needed some gingerbread people that were suitable to give away to people at our work places? Actually, it was really fun and funny. We decided to make it a new tradition, only next time everyone will decorate their own gingerbread person -- the most creative wins (I don't know what they win).

Full of Thanks

2010-11-25T21:30:00.001-06:00

Wow, this year has had its ups and downs. However, I would say that there have been more ups than downs. Obviously, the biggest downs were a failed IVF, the loss of BabyA, and the loss of our beloved poodle, Ollie. But, on the upside, I have a lot to be thankful for, and would like to take the time to call you all out individually and give thanks:

Chris -- You are the best husband a girl could ask for. You have such patience (except when you are driving), that I know you are going to be an excellent father. You join me in appreciating life and the little things (as evidenced by the picture above of you enjoying a mangosteen). You are loving, caring, empathetic, and just plain wonderful! Thanks for always being there for me, for enjoying the ups, and helping me through the downs.

Mom -- I am so thankful to have such a great mother-daughter relationship/bond. You are the greatest listener I know, which has been so helpful over the past couple years. You have helped us emotionally and financially, and I am forever grateful. I can't wait to give you the grandchild you have been hoping for; I know they will be well read-to, played with, and loved. Even though we often tease you, it's the very things we tease you about that we love about you. You are a great country road!

Pop -- I love your schadenfreude attitude! You are hilarious, and I am so glad that I got your sense of humor. I am very thankful to have a father that has always been involved in my life. You are a wealth of information. Whether or not the information you give is accurate, I still enjoy learning from you. Your interrobang e-mails are always interesting, I never know what you'll send next. I can't wait until my kids can call you "Grumps"!

David -- I am very thankful that you and I have finally developed a brother-sister relationship over the past year. You are a very kind, caring, helpful brother whom I really appreciate. I enjoyed getting to know you even better on our trip to Thailand. You surprised me several times with your openness to new things. You are a great traveling buddy, and you make excellent Thai food!

Peggy -- I am so fortunate to have a mother-in-law who I get along with so well, and with whom I have so many things in common. You help me keep the baking traditions alive and well in our family! You are always there for Chris and me when we need you. I am so glad that my parents and you get along so well, and that we were all able to travel Europe together! I can't wait for you to be a grandmother again!

Bob -- Monsieur photo, you are the best father-in-law a girl could have. I love your appreciation for tile and architecture . . . and life in general. I know I can always count on you to "ooooo" and "aaaah" over anything I bake, always making me feel good about myself. I love how much you love the dogs, and I know you will love our child even more!

Matt -- I will always remember the time you stopped by after my first egg retrieval to bring me flowers. That meant a lot. I appreciate your taste in music, and your willingness to share! I am thankful to have a brother-in-law who has so much in common with us and enjoys a lot of the fun things we enjoy. It also helps that you have two cute babies for us to play with -- I am very thankful for them as well!

J'aime -- I always wished I had a sister, and now I do! I am thankful to have a sister-in-law that I have so much in common with. It is going to be a lot of fun taking our children out on play dates together! You are a wealth of baby information, in addition to having all kinds of interesting knowledge about a variety of things! Someday I hope we can all share our love of travel together, and go on an amazing family trip!

DeMeres -- I am thankful for such a fun extended family! I always look forward to our game nights and Christmas Eve together. I can always expect to go into a full on asthma attack from laughing so hard with you all. Becky, I am grateful that you became part of the family. You are one of the most thoughtful, sincere, and kindest people I know. It means so much to me that you asked me to be Josie's godmother! Chris and Nick, you two are such awesome cousins. You both turned out to be such wonderful people, I only wish we got to hang out more often! I miss the kickball days! Ella and Josie, you are the cutest little gals I know! I look forward to seeing you every chance I get. Ella has so much personality, I love it! Aunt "B", I am thankful for how excited you have been for me when we found out that we were going to have a baby! You are always there for the family and make the gatherings even more entertaining! Uncle "Toes", I am thankful for your sense of humor and your kindness. I hope you are ready to mess with my kids and tickle them to death the way you did with us! Aunt Jaime, I am grateful for the kind words you send my way on Facebook! They are very heartfelt. I only wish we got to see you more often! Tyler, I am glad I have you on my side for reinstating game nights! Your enthusiasm is awesome! You are a very cool kid, and I can't wait to see you Sunday! Jill, I remember playing with you constantly when you were a baby! I was so excited to have a new baby in the family. You have turned out to be a cool chick! I am proud of your hockey abilities, and am thankful that I have at least gotten to see one game! Matt, we miss you man! Do you know that I haven't seen you in 5 years (aside from a rare sighting at Whole Foods a couple years back)?! I am thankful for your humor, your writing abilities, and your creativity. I miss our Lego building! Howpa, I am thankful for your endless supply of historical knowledge. You have a ton of familial stories to share! Nancy, I am thankful for your knitting and quilting talents! You create amazing works of art! I am also thankful for your desserts that have become a staple (the pineapple cake in particular)! Maybe I got my baking interest from you?!

Catty Girls -- I am so glad that you all let me into your group. We always have a great time together, whatever we do. I love all of your creativity. I love how thoughtful everyone is, always surprising each other with little things. I love our e-mail communications throughout the work day -- they help pass the day quicker. I love how everyone's personalities are so different, yet we all have a lot in common that brings us together!

Katie M -- My oldest and dearest friend! No one else can say that I was their Swiftwind! You are an awesome friend, a great listener, tremendously talented, and always a ton of fun! I love how comfortable our friendship is, and how we can enjoy our time together regardless of what we are doing. I lurve you!

Jenn -- I am so thankful that we have become friends! You are such a thoughtful, caring person. I love that we can complain to each other openly and continuously (you and I know, there is plenty to complain about!). I guess that last statement didn't sound too thankful, huh? I am also grateful that our husbands have become such good friends. I always look forward to our Dexter dates -- we'll have to come up with a new obsession after the season ends!

Katie K -- I am thankful for your amazing texting abilities. It is all because of you that I upped my texting package! You are a great friend! You have awesome taste in music, food, and fun! I am so glad that I was forced to come to Commons Lane . . . it resulted in a great friendship!

I am also thankful for so many of my friends that I didn't call out individually. I don't have pictures of everyone on hand! Julie K, Shawnee, Andrea, Jackie, Monique -- I haven't seen you all in so long and I really miss you gals! I am thankful for any visits we have together, and I hope we see each other again very soon, because regardless of the distance, you are all very dear friends!

Thailand -- I am thankful for the fact that I have had the opportunity to travel to so many awesome places. Thailand was especially unique and "once-in-a-lifetime". It was a great bonding trip for my mom, brother, Chris, and me! And, we all came away with the most amazing Thai recipes that actually taste better than any Thai restaurant in St. Louis!

Ollie -- I am thankful for the 7 years we had with you -- the best dog in the world! I love all of your quirks -- the fact that you loved to watch the Puppy Bowl on my computer, when you tilted your head when you heard "Wall-E" because it sounded like "Ollie", the doodle dance, your obsession with squirrels, your unending love for your people, and so much more!

Wembley -- I am thankful that you actually turned in to an awesome dog. I really was worried in the beginning, thinking I would have to give you back because you were so stubborn. Thankfully, you were the cutest puppy ever! But, now, you are a wonderful dog, and you make us very happy!

Escher -- I am thankful that you came into our lives when we needed you. You are a cuddle bucket and I can't wait to get to know you better! I look forward to puppy classes with you every Monday night!

Baby B -- I am so so thankful that we finally got you! I am grateful that you are healthy and "perfect". It took two years of hard, medicated work, lots of emotions, trips to compensate for the failures, disappointment all around, but you are real and will be here in 6 months! Along the same lines, I am thankful for modern medicine! Without it, we would never have been able to experience pregnancy or a baby of our own.

House -- I am thankful that we have a nice, large house to welcome two dogs and a baby, as well as a great place to entertain. Even if the neighbor kids destroy our lawn, play on our porch, and run into our cars with their bicycles, I just appreciate the fact that we have a nice place to live that we can afford.

There is so much to be thankful for, the list could go on and on! I am thankful that both Chris and I have jobs, I am thankful for our talents, for our educations, for our intelligence, and overall, I am just thankful to be alive!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! What are you thankful for this year?

Life and Death Part II

2010-11-17T21:17:00.000-06:00

Well, after the week of Ollie's death and the life of our babies visible on ultrasound once again, we have had another week of life and death. This time the roles were reversed.

We went in to my Ob's office for a follow-up ultrasound to check on Baby A. Just as feared, Baby A just wasn't meant for this world. Its sac had decreased in size, there was no longer a heart beat, and the baby was measuring much smaller than the week before. On the up side, as you can see, Baby B is doing wonderfully! We could see her/him scratch her/his head, arch his/her back, wiggle arms and legs, and bounce around. It was pretty incredible. My doctor is so thoughtful and empathetic, and asked if it would make me feel better to come in for one more ultrasound between now and the anatomy scan just to check in on Baby B. Of course I said yes! So, I have another ultrasound next week (13 weeks).

On the life side of things (other than Baby B doing great), we got a new puppy! I know it probably seems soon after Ollie died to be getting a puppy, but we figured with a baby coming we had to do it now or not for a LONG time. We really love the standard poodle breed and couldn't imagine a life without one. So, may I introduce to you, our newest family member . . . Escher (as in MC Escher). He is a brindle tuxedo, and he is just plain awesome! He is so sweet, mellow for a puppy, potty trained!, and cuddly! We already love him. He starts puppy classes next Monday to get him all trained up to be around a baby come June!

L to R: Jackson (my parents' poodle), Wembley, Escher

Notice Escher's speckled belly? So cute!

My boys - Wembley

Look at that embarrassment!

You can really see the brindle on his face in this one.

Sleeping on our pillow.

He and grumps (grandpa) already love each other!

Awwwwwww!

Poised

Like a little bullet!

Life and Death

2010-11-06T17:15:00.002-05:00

Well, this week has been a mix of emotions. Thursday we got our first video recording of the babies, thanks to my mom's insistence. We actually got to see Baby B move its little arms around!

Yet, the week turned to the greatest sadness I can remember in a long time. Our first "child", our beloved standard poodle, Ollie, had to be put to sleep. He was the best, most loving dog. He was such a presence that his absence left an endless abyss of sadness. He was only 7 years old, way too young to have died so suddenly and unexpectedly. He was fine yesterday, woke us up last night acting strange, we took him to the emergency vet, they told us his stomach had flipped upside down (bloat) and required surgery, in surgery they found a perforation in his stomach and gave him a 1% chance of survival, we were forced to make the horrible decision to euthanize him. So, within a matter of 4 hours we went from thinking we'd see him in a little while post vet examination, to saying goodbye.

We love you, Ollie. We miss you terribly already.

I'm moving to Europe

2010-11-02T21:18:00.002-05:00

I am so sick of Missouri's conservativeness!!!! I guess I could at least move across the river, Illinois seems to have a little more sense.

A photo recap of October!

2010-11-01T21:59:00.000-05:00

The second weekend of October, Chris and I headed off to Washington DC for Chris' friend, Belen's wedding. We were excited to get a chance to have somewhat of a reunion with a lot of Chris' college friends while on the trip. Also, it was our 5th wedding anniversary (October 8th), so vacationing was an excellent way to celebrate!

Strange reptile at the Smithsonian Zoo

My favorite -- an elephant shrew

The view from inside Amsterdam Falafel House in Adam's Morgan

My delicious falafel (they have an amazing toppings bar from which to pile onto your falafel and pita

The BEST fries!

Fancy pumpkin soup appetizer at the wedding

The newlyweds!

Friends chatting

The only seats in the house were overlooking the cake -- I wasn't complaining!

After our DC trip, it was time for "Melissapalooza" to quote my sister-in-law. Little did I know how true this phrasing was! I invited my close friends and family to join me in trying a new restaurant (new to me) called The Shaved Duck to celebrate my birthday on the actual day (October 15th). Most people on my invite list showed up! We had a wonderful time and DELICIOUS food! More shocking than how large our party ended up being, was the amazing birthday present I received from Chris, my parents, and his parents:

They all pitched in together to buy me a Canon Rebel T1i. It was so thoughtful, and waaaaaaaay more than I expected for my 30th birthday! Chris made the point that we need an SLR camera for the impending babies! Not to mention, it shoots HD video, which will be awesome for catching all of those baby firsts! But, really, Chris got it for me so that I could enhance my blogging capabilities. Unfortunately, I'm not off to such a great start, am I? Things will slow down in November (as evidenced by the fact that I am posting this in November).

My first pictures with my new camera (I unfortunately ran out of space on my SD card pretty quickly, and didn't get all the pictures I wanted):

Father and brother

My chili sampler (one came with a shot glass of milk because it was made from the ghost pepper!)

Chris' pulled chicken sandwich and gooey mac and cheese

My mother-in-law's duck flatbread

Tim and Faith get cute (as usual)

Jenn and the frisee showing off the new found depth perception

Jenn and Tim

BFF Katie M

Parents (not posing for the photo, as usual)

Trying out macro setting in low lighting

Somehow I missed out on getting photos of Katie K (who sent me BEAUTIFUL flowers to my work), my in-laws, and Jenn and Justin!

So, you might imagine my surprise, after so many of my friends and family showered me with love on the night of my birthday, when Chris led me to a surprise 30th in Tower Grove Park! What a guy, right?! He planned the whole thing himself! It really was Melissapalooza! Almost all of my lovely friends and family members were able to join us for a beautiful afternoon in the park with a wonderful picnic. Thank you Becky, Katie, Ella, Josie D, Maureen, Steve, Jeff, Tyler, Jill, Howpa, Nancy, Bob, Peggy, J'aime, Matt, Josie J, August, Mom, Pop, David, Julie, Dave, Nate, Jenna, Micah, Jenn K, Justin, Tim L, Faith, Octavia, John, Atticus, Delphi, Bella, Jenn H, Tim H, Katie K, Paul, Chris, and Grandpa Schumann for coming to my party! It meant so much!

The next day we went to Pere Marquette Lodge for brunch, which was delicious as usual. Then, we attempted apple picking, but mostly trampled over fermented goo.

The next weekend, I headed to the Lake of the Ozarks with the Catty girls! I will let you check out the Catty blog for more on that. We had a blast! And they were so sweet to celebrate my birthday . . . yet again!!

I MUST go to bed now. I need to keep up on this blog so that it doesn't take me an hour and a half to write one post!

Where do I begin?!

2010-11-01T20:44:00.000-05:00

Wow, it has been entirely too long since I last posted. Part of the problem is that October is probably the busiest month of the year for us, and this year even more so!!

First, an update on the A-Bies: I have had 2 ultrasounds since the last time I posted about them. One was with the RE for a final check-in on their progress, and the second one was with the Ob!! I finally graduated to the Ob. See the following ultrasound pics for the most current update. I have another ultrasound scheduled for this Thursday to check on Baby A.

I am going to split this post up, because there is just too much to recount from October!

Baby A is still lagging behind at 7weeks 6days, its sac just isn't growing quite right, but we still have hope, its heartbeat was 145!

Baby B is looking good and measuring almost right on schedule. B's heart rate was 162bpm!! Nice and strong!

This is the ultrasound picture from my first Ob appointment. There are definitely still concerns about Baby A, you can tell how developmentally behind it is (measuring 8 weeks 1 day). Baby B "looks fantastic" according to the Ob and is measuring right on schedule at 9 weeks 0 days. Both babies have good, strong heartbeats.

The exciting Part II . . .

2010-10-13T21:30:00.001-05:00

So, as I said yesterday, last week's ultrasound showed an empty sac A and a yolk sac, fetal pole, and visible heartbeat in sac B . . .

Look what we have this week!!!!!!!

Baby A has appeared from nothing!! We now have what my parents call "The ABs (ay-bees)".

Baby A's heart rate was 121 as demonstrated here. B's was 127. They said normal is between 120 and 180, so they are on the low end of normal.

Baby B's solo debut!!

Baby A's solo debut!!

Both babies are measuring behind, but I think they are within the one week margin? We go back in for one LAST ultrasound next Tuesday. If everything looks okay, and the ABs are still growing, they will graduate me to the OB!

This is the best birthday present ever! I turn the big 3-0 this Friday, and was dreading it, but this makes it all better!

I'll be back soon with some more posts. I have a lot of photos in my camera of things that I meant to blog about, but October is the busiest month and I just haven't had time to unload the pictures!

And the results are in . . .

2010-10-12T21:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay! We had our ultrasound last Tuesday, and then left the next day for a wedding in Washington DC, so there was no time to scan and post photos!

Our ultrasound went pretty well. Everything was in its right place, which was the main thing they were looking for at such an early ultrasound. They actually found 2 sacs, as you can see from the photo! BUT, A appeared to be empty. B was there with a fetal pole, yolk sac, and a visible heartbeat. However, it was too small to get a read on the heartbeat, so they scheduled another ultrasound for today (October 12th).

We also found out at that appointment that I have the Rh factor, which just means that I will have to get a Rhogam shot at 28 weeks, and after the birth if the baby/babies are Rh positive.

Baby B was measuring behind a bit, but we are hoping he/she will catch up!

Empty Sac A, and Baby B (it's hard to see that anything is in there on this ultrasound pic).

This is the picture showing the measurement of Baby B, you can barely see that anything is even there, because the measurement line is covering the fetal pole.

Exciting update to follow tomorrow . . .

2837

2010-10-02T12:09:00.000-05:00

That's my second beta number. We actually had to drive over to the Doctor's office to get it, because they never called us today with the results.

They gave me a thumbs up for the number, and said it was good. But, in my head I was hoping for a higher number. It's a doubling time of 55 hours, and they want to see between 48-72 hour doubling time. I was hoping for closer to the 48 hour doubling time. I'm still so eager for the ultra sound, that will tell me what I really want to know, and what I am most worried about -- whether or not it's ectopic. They said that they couldn't tell from beta numbers, and we'll just have to wait for the ultrasound to ensure that the embryos implanted in my uterus and not my tubes. I wish there weren't so many worry hurtles to get through! But, at least I am supposed to go in on Tuesday for the ultrasound, so I won't have to wait another week to know what's going on inside!!

I should just be happy that I'm pregnant and that the hcg is doubling as it should! That's all I can be for now!

Aaaaarrrrrrrrrggggh!

2010-10-01T17:21:00.000-05:00

I have been on pins and needles all day awaiting the results of my second beta . . . I asked them to call me before 3:00. Two-thirty rolled around and I still hadn't heard any news, and was on my way to a different work building. I had a meeting at 3:30 and still hadn't heard from the Doctor's office at 3:30. I got out of my meeting at 4:30, walked outside, and my phone all of a sudden decides to let me know that I have 4 new voice mails. The doctor's office had been trying to call me all day, and my phone - never - rang!!!!! I had had it on vibrate in my pocket all day long as I usually do, and I kept checking -- full bars.

So, the secretary at my Dr.'s office left 2 messages saying she had my results and was trying to get a hold of me (duh!) and also wanted to schedule my ob ultra sound. BUT, she didn't' leave the results in the message! So, now I have to drive myself crazy for another 18+ hours thinking, maybe the beta didn't double, but maybe it did, but maybe it didn't?

I HATE MY PHONE!!!!

I guess I won't be drinking pumpkin beer this Fall . . .

2010-09-25T10:21:00.000-05:00

because I'm PREGNANT!!!

I got my beta results from the doctor yesterday! The conversation went like this:

RE office: Hi, this is Amy from Dr. M's office, how are you?
Me: (thinking, I know who you are, get to the point) Fine.
Amy: How are you feeling?
Me: fine (okay, why stall?)
Amy: Have you been taking a lot of home pregnancy tests?
Me: No, I haven't taken any.
Amy: Well, good, cause . . . you're pregnant!!! And I can't believe you made me wait until 3:30 to call you!
Me: OMG!

Then, I ask what the beta number is and Amy says, "Well, that's something I wanted to talk to you about. Usually we like to see the number around 100 (so I'm thinking, great, it's a low number), but yours is at 347! That could mean that you have an embryo with strong hormones, or, it could mean that there are two in there!" I said that I didn't care, I was just so happy that it worked.

It was so neat to hear how happy my Dr.'s office was for me. It seemed as if they had all been waiting on baited breath to tell me. I know that my case was discussed often at the RE's office, because I was a "tough egg to crack". So, I imagined that they all gathered around and congratulated their work and my success! At least that's how I like to picture it.

So, after I got the news, I drove to Chris' work to tell him in person. He was expecting a phone call from me, so he was quite shocked to see me show up. He said he didn't know if I was there for good news or bad, but I finally said, "It worked!" He didn't show much emotion, but I think he's still in shock. He said he's trying to be cautiously optimistic, which I understand, because there are A LOT more milestones to cross before we can rest assured that this is really happening! But, at least it WORKED!! I've NEVER been pregnant before. This is the farthest I've ever gotten in the fertility process.

After I met up with Chris, we drove to his parents' house, and caught them just as they were about to walk out the door. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law were both their with their twins as well (they live with Chris' parents for now). Chris told them the news and I think they were in a bit of disbelief at first too! My sister-in-law started squealing and making all kinds of plans for our children to have play dates and such, which was fun. It was so neat to hear their excitement. They were headed out to meet Chris' grandfather at Cracker Barrel for dinner, so we decided to tag along. It took about 4 tries to tell Chris' grandpa the news, as he had to keep turning up his hearing aid. He asked if it was natural, and I said "no." So, he said, "oh, you're adopting then?" And, rather than try to explain it to him we decided to go with, "no, it's natural."

My mom was coming back in town on a flight at 8:30, so we decided to go over to my parents' house to wait for them. We parked up the street so that they wouldn't see our car, and then we let ourselves into their house to wait. It took a while before they even noticed us sitting on the couch, but when they did, they still didn't know anything was up. I hadn't told my mom when my beta was scheduled, so she didn't know that I knew. I handed her a pregnancy test that I bought just before hand and said, "Happy Birthday!" (Her birthday is today) She said, "What is this?" Then she threw it across the table and started squealing and stomping. I wish I had caught it on video, but of course we were so caught up in the moment we forgot to record it. My dad was in the background going, "What? What?!" They were so excited. This will be their first grandchild/children.

So, here we go! Hold on for the ride to baby town! I'm keeping this baby in there no matter what. I'm telling her/him they can't go anywhere! They have to stick around!

Ice Ice Baby

2010-09-15T19:48:00.000-05:00

Google Images does not have stock photos of frozen embryos -- freezer was the best I could do.

Well, I got some good news Monday! Two of our embryos made it to freeze! We had 1 from our previous fresh IVF cycle, so now we have 3 frozen embryos! Probably enough to do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). But, I am hoping we don't need to do the FET until we want a 2nd child!!!!!

I am feeling much better! I was all hunched over and not walking well last week from Wednesday until Sunday. My ovaries were so huge, they were knocking into all of my other organs causing referred pain to my back, diaphragm, uterus, and of course the ovaries themselves were sore. I feel some slight discomfort still in the uterus area, but at least I can walk standing up straight!

I don't have too much to report other than that! People keep asking if I feel pregnant, but really? I don't think that is possible. I mean, the embryos, assuming they have become blastocysts and hatched, and are implanting as we speak, still will not be emitting enough levels of hcg for my body to react as if I'm pregnant. So, no, I do not feel pregnant. Although, how would I know if I did? I have NEVER been pregnant before. Not even a hint of pregnant.

I have been baking more lately. I have the most delicious pumpkin bread ever waiting in my freezer. How do I know if it's delicious if it's in the freezer? It couldn't be because Chris and I already ate the whole loaf in a matter of days? We ate that sucker so fast I didn't even get a picture. So, whenever I decide to thaw the 2nd loaf (probably soon, it's calling to me), I will post about it! Don't worry, recipe to be included!

Embabies nestle in!!

2010-09-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

Well, here they are, the embabies! We went in for a three day transfer yesterday. The doctor seemed pleased with the embryos that she was getting ready to transfer. The 7 cell had perfect clarity, and the 8 cell had only slight fragmentation. In the ultrasound picture you can see a sliver of white which is a photo capture of the notorious "flash of light" that happens when the embryos and the oxygen around them are injected into the uterus. That huge black blob above the embryos is my bladder that is completely full (per doctor's orders)! I was so glad I didn't pee on the doctor.

And here they are, Baby A and Baby B!!! PLEASE STAY WITH US FOR 9 MONTHS THIS TIME!

Your vote matters!

2010-09-10T19:57:00.000-05:00

Well, while there was by no means resounding participation in my little poll this week, the majority voted that I bake a recipe from Martha Stewart's Cookies! So, I did! They were quite tasty! I would say they were very similar in both taste and texture to actual carrot cake, the difference being that with these the icing is sandwiched between the caky layers. I was feeling ambitious, so I also whipped up a batch of this ginger ice cream that I found on Tartlette's blog! It was very good, but you must like ginger to enjoy it! It was kind of like a strong ginger snap in cold, silky-smooth form.

Carrot Cake Cookie with homemade ginger ice cream

Here is the recipe if you'd like. I substituted grated coconut for the raisins:

FOR THE FILLING:
2 ounces bar cream cheese, room temperature
2 ounces unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 cup confectioners' sugar
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
FOR THE COOKIES:
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg yolk
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup rolled oats
3/4 cup packed, finely grated, peeled carrots
1/3 cup dried currants

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Make filling: With an electric mixer, beat cream cheese and butter until smooth. Add sugar and lemon juice; beat until combined. Cover; chill until firm, at least 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, make cookies: In a large bowl, whisk together butter, sugars, and egg yolk. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, ginger, and salt. Add flour mixture to butter mixture; stir until combined. Mix in oats, carrots, and currants.
Drop dough by level tablespoons, 2 inches apart, onto prepared baking sheets. Flatten with the palm of your hand. Bake until edges are crisp, rotating baking sheets halfway through, 15 to 18 minutes. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool.
Turn half the cookies over, bottom side up; dollop each with about 1 teaspoon chilled cream-cheese filling. Top with remaining cookies, pressing gently to spread filling to edges. Serve immediately.

Read more at Marthastewart.com: Carrot-Cake Cookies Recipe - MarthaStewart.com

Retrieved

2010-09-10T19:47:00.001-05:00

Well, Wednesday, despite the worries about my high estrogen, my doctors let me go through with egg retrieval! They were able to retrieve 19 eggs! I got the call about their fertilization yesterday, and 15 out of the 19 fertilized. Tomorrow we will get a call in the morning on whether or not we should come in for the egg transfer. If they don't have us come in tomorrow, the egg transfer will be on Monday. I am still feeling pretty uncomfortable. My ovaries are super enlarged (I'm guessing) and causing referred pain to my back and diaphragm areas. Needless to say, I was walking pretty funny today making it very difficult to hide that something was up from my coworkers!

Here I am before egg retrieval surgery, and before they put in the IV. I look much calmer than with the first egg retrieval!

Post egg retrieval, not looking as hot. I was in more pain this time than the first IVF.

I'm hyper

2010-09-06T12:12:00.000-05:00

Hyper stimulated, that is. After my ultrasound and blood work this morning, the doctor called me herself. Usually it's the nurse practitioner, so I knew something was up. My estrogen is at 5200, which is not good. It's way too high, and they are worried about me coming down with Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). My doctor said she would let me take the hcg trigger shot tonight, despite the high estrogen, but that she was worried. She suggested that after my retrieval surgery, we freeze all embryos except for 6, in case I am not able to do a fresh transfer due to OHSS. Last IVF they were really worried about my estrogen being so high too, but it was only at 3500 or so. I didn't get OHSS last time, but that doesn't mean that I won't this time. I don't feel horrible yet, just pretty full in the ovary area. But, I guess at least I get to go through with the retrieval. At least I didn't develop all of these eggs for nothing. So, my retrieval surgery is scheduled for 8:00 am this Wednesday. I get to take the lovely intramuscular hcg shot tonight.

Even thought the poll isn't technically over, it looks as though a recipe from Martha Stewart's Cookies won out! I will be posting the outcome sometime in the next day or so! Thanks for participating in getting my butt in gear with the baking!

Vote Now!

2010-09-05T11:34:00.002-05:00

Hey guys, I added a polling gadget to the left! Vote for what you would like to see me bake this weekend! Vote now or forever hold your peace!

Recommendations anyone?

2010-09-04T21:24:00.000-05:00

I have been compiling a list of uplifting, not going to give up, happy, motivational songs for a playlist I like to call "F@#$ Infertility" on my iTunes. What are your most inspirational, upbeat songs that you turn to when you need your spirits lifted?

I have been listening to my playlist on the way to my RE's office before each ultrasound or blood work appointment! I definitely feel a more positive attitude this round!! Maybe the music is working?!

My playlist so far (it's slim, but my RE's office doesn't take long to get to from our house):

Something's Coming -- West Side Story Soundtrack
Accentuate the Positive -- Duke Ellington
Hey, Hey, Hey (It's Gonna Be Okay) -- Stephanie's Id
Free Me -- Joss Stone
Don't Stop Believing -- Glee Soundtrack version

I'd love to hear your suggestions!!

I'm From the Lou and I'm Proud!

2010-08-30T22:07:00.001-05:00

This weekend we spent about 20 out of 48 hours at LouFest . . . St. Louis' answer to indie music festivals such as Coachella, Bonaroo, or SXSW. Of course, it did not reach the magnitude of other, more established music festivals, however, it was awesome! I am really proud of St. Louis for putting on such an amazing show, with such a great diversity of artists. I really hope this festival continues annually and only gets bigger and bigger, while maintaining its indie music appeal.

LouFest did a good job with having a variety of foods, including vegetarian and vegan options (as we aren't eating meat unless it is from our CSA. These were vegan nachos!

There were two stages, and if you positioned yourself well, you were able to view both stages as well as the big screen projection of the concerts!

We LOVED Stephanie's Id (Stephaniesid)! She was very much the entertainer as well as a great artist. We ended up buying two of her albums -- I recommend her!

The Carolina Chocolate Drops were another of our favorites! They played so many unique instruments -- the bones, a jug, a fiddle, the banjo, and a kazoo!

Playing the jug!

They did some great covers -- June and Johnny Cash's "Jackson", Blu Cantrell's "Hit 'em Up Style" -- Amazing!

Built to Spill was another artist we were excited about seeing, and they did not disappoint!

She and Him finished off the festival. They sounded great, but Zooey was a little lackluster. Compared to the other groups, they weren't as entertaining, but the music was great! Although, I must say, the men all around us were oogling over Zooey so much, sometimes I couldn't hear the music.

Other bands at the festival included: Jeff Tweedy (Wilco), Broken Social Scene (awesome), Airborne Toxic Event, Titus Andronicus, So Many Dynamos, Bottle Rockets, Lucero, Adam Reichmann, Alejandro Escovedo, Corey Chisel, Kim Massey, Fruit Bats, Gentleman Auction House, and Magnolia Summer.

Go StL!!

And they're off . . .

2010-08-28T01:19:00.004-05:00

my follicles that is! I went to my RE's office today for my baseline ultrasound and blood work. The office staff seemed especially cheerful and positive this morning, which was a great way to start off a new IVF cycle! The ultrasound tech that I got today is my favorite of the two in my office. They are both really friendly and caring, but this tech is more positive without being unrealistic. She said that everything looked great. She also told me to "think positive thoughts," which I feel like I am this time. AND, on the ultrasound this time she wrote that there were 30 follicles <10mm,>

My nurse called and gave me instructions for the weekend, and I took my initial dose of my liquid gold:

I have to take this bad boy to an all-day music festival this weekend! There won't be any bathrooms to shoot myself with (except for Johnnys, blech). So, I guess I will be grabbin flab to shoot up in the middle of Forest Park -- awesome!

West Side Story = Infertility Therapy?

2010-08-25T19:04:00.004-05:00

Maybe it's the fact that I am smack in the middle of this whole IVF ordeal again, and thinking about infertility often now. Or, maybe it's the fact that I try to relate every song I hear to however I am feeling at the moment. Or, maybe it is that I LOVE me some West Side. But, it is probably all three reasons combined that cause me to find three of the songs from my favorite musical apropo for dealing musically with my struggles of infertility.

I have already demonstrated the appropriateness of "Something's Coming". But, how about these:

"You wanna live in this lousy world? Play it cool."

"I wanna get even"

"Get cool!"

"I wanna bust!"

"Bust cool!"

"I wanna go!"

"Go cool."

I've decided not to tell my coworkers about this round of IVF. I feel like I have to constantly "play it cool". But I wanna BUST! So I bust cool.

And then I listened to "Somewhere":

I just think about Chris and me, and how all we have to deal with this crappy lot in life is each other.

"There's a place for us, somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air wait for us somewhere. There's a time for us. Someday a time for us. Time together with time to spend, time to love time to care. Someday. Somewhere, we'll find a new way of living. We'll find a way of forgiving. Somewhere. There's a place for us, a time and place for us. Hold my hand and we're halfway there, hold my hand and I'll take you there. Somehow. Someday. Somewhere."

What's a Missouri Summer without a float trip?!

2010-08-25T18:37:00.005-05:00

On a whim I decided we needed to embark on a float trip before the Summer got away from us. I am not sure if this is true or not, correct me if I am wrong please, but word on the street is that people in other states don't know about "float trips"? In Missouri float trips include (but are not limited to) the following:

-a large air-inflated raft

-several friends

-lots of beer

-Jell-O shots

-hoosiers (other states call them "rednecks" or "white trash")

-nudity

-Confederate flags (who knew we were part of the South? and who knew people still liked to flaunt their racist pride?)

-water guns

Feel free to add to my list, fellow Missourians.

We were Jell-O shotless, Confederate flagless (thank God!), clothed, and unhoosier-ific, therefore only meeting half of the float trip criteria.

Jenn and Tim made the perfect float-mates:

It was the perfect get away. Jenn and I had just finished the first couple days of school for the year, and were preparing to start in head-on the next day, so this was much needed relaxation. While we didn't bring nearly enough beer, we had an amazing time. We hit Cracker Barrel on the way home (another very "country" experience to top off the tradition). Chris and I recently decided to not be vegetarians completely, but to ONLY eat meat from our CSA (farm share). So, I was excited to see they had an "entree" on their menu where you could order 4 "veggie" side dishes. My "veggies" included: mac & cheese, potatoes, okra, and slaw . . . with a biscuit of course! It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

We drove the hour and a half back home and dove in, head on to the first full work week of the school year!

itap

2010-08-04T09:40:00.005-05:00

Last night Chris and I decided to go on a date to the new International Tap House (itap) in Soulard. It lived up to any expectations he or I may have had. They have over 500 beers, with a large selection of draught beers! The atmosphere was really nice to, with exposed brick, comfy black leather couches, exposed wooden beamed ceiling, and a nice patio that we would have enjoyed had it not been 102 degrees yesterday!

Look at that draught list, holy cow!! And it changes (seasonally?).

I got a sampler of 5 4oz beers. They included: St. Bernadus Tripel, Maredsous 8 (a double), Racer 5 (IPA), Left Hand Fade to Black (stout), and Old Rasputin (Imperial Stout). I enjoyed them all, but especially liked Racer 5. I guess I like my hoppy IPAs (they smell and taste like grapefruit to me).

I don't remember what Chris tried, but I'm pretty sure he liked all of his selections.

I have a habit of putting my pinky up when I drink -- not to be polite (of course), just a strange habit. I over-dramaticized the lifted pinky for the photo! See my sticker? I did my civic duty! The main issue on the ballot that I was voting against won out -- boo!

Chris and I got a bit tipsy, and discussed worldly things -- serious subjects. Politics and culture. It was kind of a Debbie downer of a conversation, but when you're tipsy, it doesn't feel quite that way.

I've been drinking more than I usually do, but I think it's my typical "gotta get in as much drinking as possible before my IVF cycle starts" mentality. I also need to start working out ASAP!! I've decided not to quit working out when I start my meds. They tell you you can't work out, but really they mean you can't get your heart rate over 140. So, I think it would be okay if I just went to the Y and walked the treadmill at a reasonable pace for an hour, don't you?

Something's Comin'

2010-08-03T12:43:00.007-05:00

I got my meds via FedEx today! It looked something like a repeat of this:

Which resulted in me singing this:

Cooking Spree

2010-08-01T10:13:00.005-05:00

Okay, so I'm having a hard time writing the Thailand post. I can't figure out how I want to organize it, and am overwhelmed by which photos I want to use to summarize such an amazing trip!

So . . . you'll have to be patient with me for the recap.

In the mean time, I have been cooking and baking up a storm. I guess I really missed it while we were gone. Thai food is delicious, but of course, I missed my kitchen. I guess we were tided over by the awesome cooking class we took in Chiang Mai. But, that, of course, will be revealed in the Thailand post -- someday.

Here are some things I have been working on since I got home:

Peach and Cherry Cobbler! Had to use up the peaches -- they ripened a bit too much after only 1 day! Plus, the tons of cherries from Costco!

Blueberry oatmeal muffins from this month's Cooking Light.

Wheat and Honey rolls with sesame, poppy seeds, and oats.

Spinach and green onion quiche -- it is delicious! Another recipe from this month's Cooking Light.

I also made a really good Summer squash and corn soup that was super easy and delicious!

Despite all the amazing cooking creations, Chris and I passed Cherokee Street the other day and just had to stop at La Vallesana. Chris had not tried their tortas, and we decided now was the time!

La Vallesana is on Cherokee Street in Saint Louis, which is where you will find all of the authentic Mexican restaurants and stores.

Yum! He loved it. Believe it or not, this is just half of a torta -- we split ONE! I also had the most delicious Agua Fresca -- it was essentially juiced fresh pineapple blended with water -- and it was the best pineapple drink I have ever had. It was like the liquid version of this mini pineapple I had in Thailand (which was the best pineapple EVER).

Chris and I really have to buckle down on our health right now, because we are headed into our next round of In Vitro. I got my schedule in the mail from my Reproductive Endocrinologist's office yesterday. It confirms that I start Lupron on August 18th and then go in for a check and possible start stims on August 27th. I am nervous and excited. I have a good feeling about this cycle, but I don't want to, because I don't want to get my hopes up. At the same time, I don't want to suppress any good thoughts, because positive thinking can do a lot for the body. Argggh, what a mind f$#%.

Coming Soon . . .

2010-07-25T16:12:00.001-05:00

an update on what I have been up to the past month!

This week, sometime, I will update you all with pictures from our AMAZING trip to Thailand!!!!

We Learn Crafts, the Babies Learn to Swim!

2010-06-19T14:35:00.005-05:00

We had an unexpected, fun evening last night!! Chris and I went to an Etsy event at a space called "Made" on Cherokee Street. Etsy sent some supplies to various cities throughout the US that were selected by a poll (I think), and St. Louis was one of the cities that was selected to receive some supplies for the event.

For a small donation, we had access to a nice variety of crafts that came with instructors who taught the craft. Chris was a good sport, and didn't let his manliness get in the way of embroidering! I love that about him!

We both learned to embroider using a chain stitch. We chose our fabrics, then used a light box to trace clip art images onto the cloth, which we then embroidered over with embroidery floss.

We also tried out the porcelain paint that Etsy sent. You can paint whatever you want onto porcelain, let dry for 24 hours, then bake in the oven to set. It's dishwasher safe too!

Katie was working the plastic bag area where they ironed plastic grocery bags together to make clutches! Very interesting. Here she is with the unfinished product.

While we learned several new crafts last night, our dogs learned something new a couple weeks ago on our camping trip!

They finally learned to swim (and like it) as well as to retrieve objects from the water. We were such proud parents!! Afterall, Ollie (the poodle) is a water dog, and should have been swimming for a long time now!

Of all the dogs (there were 5 with us!), Ollie and Wembley were the only ones that would set foot in the water (and 3 of the 5 are supposed to be "water dogs").

I like Schedules

2010-06-10T13:34:00.002-05:00

I talked to my RE's office today about my upcoming IVF schedule for August/September. We are still going to Thailand in July, but I wanted to know when I could expect to start all the fun shots when we returned!

I had asked my Dr. if I could use the one frozen embryo we have along with a fresh cycle. She talked it over with the group of REs at the office (they all meet and discuss various cases every week), and they decided that it wouldn't work out. The embryo that is frozen is a 5 day embryo, and they can't guarantee that my fresh cycle would be a 5 day transfer. Therefore, if my fresh cycle were a 3 day transfer, then I'd have to have the frozen embryo transferred two days later, and they don't want to interrupt what is already happening in the uterus by doing a second transfer. It made sense to me! I hope I get another frozen embryo or two this next time so that we have a frozen cycle in our future (whether it be because we have to do a 3rd IVF, or if we can save them for a 2nd child!).

So, it looks like I will start my suppression end of August, and begin stims September 3rd (I think that's what she said -- I was driving when she called). The estimated retrieval date is set for September 13th! This would time out really well with the end of the next school year if it worked! Although, I shouldn't even think that way -- too many ifs. I'm effing tired of iffing.

It's nice to have something to look forward to as soon as we get back from our trip!

A Fateful Gift?

2010-06-04T12:38:00.007-05:00

The other day, as my dad picked me up from the car dealership where my car was being worked on, he mentioned he had a present for me in his car. I couldn't have imagined how cool of a gift awaited me. My dad's Aunt Evelyn, who is now 100 years old, had sent us a blanket that she crocheted herself. She has made a baby blanket for nearly everyone in the family. The blanket she sent is beautiful and simple (in color, not in skill level), just my taste. Aunt Evelyn is whom we plan to name our child after, should we have a girl. Not because she made us this blanket ;) but because she is an amazing person (and her name is lovely as well).

Here are a couple photographs of the blanket that don't do it justice whatsoever:

I titled this blog post "fateful gift" as I'm hoping that this blanket is just what a baby was waiting for before it made its debut. Maybe it just needed to know that it would have a warm, homemade blanket to snuggle into before it would let itself be conceived. I know, it sounds silly, but not if you've been trying to have a baby for two medicated years.

Whittaker Music Festival and my new book!

2010-06-04T12:33:00.003-05:00

You know Summer in Saint Louis has officially begun when the Whittaker Music Festival at the Missouri Botanical Gardens starts back up again! We went this past Wednesday. It was a little hot, and quite buggy, but still a lovely evening.

While I waited for my friends to show (I went early to scout out a good spot), I drank this pear cider and began to read my new book that I won from the giveaway over at The Road Forks! I am so happy to have won this book, and can't wait to read more. I will tell you more about it after I know more. ;)

Thanks again, Akila, for this lovely book!

An Assortment of Summer Break Meals

2010-06-04T09:03:00.007-05:00

I really haven't been good about blogging more regularly, have I? I do have some excuses, I guess. I got a Summer school position! They called me VERY last minute to see if I was interested in an early childhood position, and I gladly accepted. It works out really well, because it's only 2 days a week for four hours, for four weeks. So, it ends just before we go to Thailand (the day before in fact)!

But, I have made a few meals that I have photographed so far:

My breakfasts lately have been consisting of a fried egg, bagel thins with random toppings (above is MaraNatha dark chocolate almond butter and our CSA blushing peach preserves), and fruit! Very filling -- holds me over until 2:00!!

We have only grilled once so far, and it wasn't on Memorial Day! We grilled up the rest of our CSA bison meat filled with our CSA cheddar to make a "juicy Lucy". If you don't know what a "jucy Lucy" is -- we were introduced via television on some Travel Channel show. There are two famous bars in the twin cities that have a competitive rivalry with their burgers that are filled with oozing, hot, molten cheese! We had to try making them ourselves, even though we have never tried the original(s). They are GREAT!

A very unflattering photo of our outdoor meal, without the main components that were still on the grill. See, that's my problem, I get so excited to eat, that when the meal is actually ready, I forget to take photos and just dig in!

Then for lunches, I've been having salads with greens and pea shoots from our CSA and homemade croutons made with stale bread from our CSA (we can never eat the bread fast enough).

This is some AWESOME balsamic vinaigrette I made from a recipe from the book "How to Cook Everything Vegetarian".

This is my favorite "tool" for making sweet potato fries! We bought it in NYC, but I bet you could find it at World Market or someplace like that. It is whole pieces of cinnamon and cubes of sugar that you grind to make a delicious seasoning for the fries!

YUM!!! I LOVE me some sweet potato fries -- 450F for 30 minutes -- I eat them with ketchup.

Time to Buckle Down!

2010-05-29T09:52:00.001-05:00

School is OUT for the Summer!!! I am so happy to have two months off of work to do what I want with. I am supposed to be working at the nursing homes PRN (as needed) throughout the Summer, but so far they have only been calling for me on the weekends (when I'm usually camping, or out of town). I need the money for our big trip to Thailand, so I hope they start giving me weekday hours soon! Speaking of Thailand, we are indeed still going!!! I am re-excited. For a while there (being my pessimistic self) I was convinced we weren't going. I had even checked out just about every travel book from every country from the library. I returned them yesterday, as I returned to my day dreaming of elephant rides, snorkeling in pristine turquoise water, and Thai cooking classes.

But, before we depart for Thailand, I have a LOT of getting in shape to do (in a month's time). I know, it's pretty ridiculous of me to expect much out of last minute working out, but I am going to do my best! I have a schedule of classes that I have signed up for at the YMCA: Mondays Zumba in the morning, stability ball in the evening; Tuesdays Zumba; Wedensdays Zumba in the morning, stability ball in the evening (although, I probably won't do this, because my favorite Summer event takes place Wednesday nights); Thursdays Zumba; Fridays Zumba, Saturdays Core Conditioning.And, of course, I will add other exercises to that list independently. I also have to work on my eating habits (as always). I can be a really healthy eater, but I just LOVE food, so I often eat way too much!

There's no excuse for me not to work out at least an hour a day for the next month, as I have no work schedule to abide by! I am really looking forward to starting these classes, and getting into a really healthy eating routine. I plan to cook from my new "How to Cook Everything: Vegetarian" cookbook a lot! I have already made several things from this book that have turned out deliciously! I will blog about them soon, as blogging is another thing that I can do a lot more of with my new found free time. I actually made a list of what to do in my spare time, as you'd be surprised how easily time can get away from you without a set schedule!

Well, I'm off to do something with my day -- to be determined!

Rock Chalk

2010-05-23T18:48:00.008-05:00

On a whim, Chris and I decided to take a trip to my alma mater -- The University of Kansas AKA KU, home of the Jayhawks (a completely fictional bird, if you were wondering). I have been feeling really down lately. There are so many horrible things going on in the world right now, and no matter how much I try to avoid the news for self preservation, I still think and hear about all of the messes to be cleaned up. When thinking of alternative vacation spots, because of the horrible political unrest in Bangkok recently, I began to become more and more depressed. How about a cruise out of Florida again? Oh wait, there's a horrible oil rig spewing oil all over the gulf. How about a trip to Ireland and the UK? Oh wait, the volcano may still be spewing ash preventing our flight from taking off. How about Greece?! No? There are riots and horrible economic issues? Hmmmmm . . . where in the world is there not something terrible going on? Anyway, to turn a horribly pessimistic post into a happy one, we thought it best to get the heck out of dodge for a weekend. Lawrence, Kansas is quite the idyllic little college town (at least for the two of us liberal, hippie wanna bes). We decided to bring the dogs along this time, renting a really crappy motel room where they accepted dogs.

One of the things I'm sure Ollie (our standard poodle) misses most about Lawrence (his childhood home) is their AMAZING off-leash dog park -- the "mutt run". It's this huge amount of land for a dog park, where the dogs can romp around with each other, or walk free on the trails with their owners. The dog park was our first stop as SOON as we got into town.

My boys have such cute butts.

Can you spot the Wembley dog in this picture?

I'm not sure what the heck Ollie is doing with his mouth wide open.

Ollie encountered a turtle for the first time!

It wasn't scared.

So, after wearing the dogs out, we sat down with the picnic lunch I had packed. Whole wheat flat-out wraps filled with a hefty portion of Sabra hummus, cherry tomatoes, sweet pea sprouts (from our CSA), and red onion. They were delicious!! I think this will be one of my "go-to" lunches for the Summer (when I am going to try to lose a ton of weight in a month in order to prepare for the beaches of Thailand, which we still plan to go to considering things have calmed for now). We also had our CSA strawberries, carrots, and pretzels.

The doggies were so hot after their run around the dog park -- this was Wembley's solution:

Then we took the dogs to the motel for a quick air-conditioning cool down. And it was off to Mass. (Massachusetts) Street for a stroll down the street of seemingly endless shops, bars, and restaurants. We knew we'd be eating dinner at our favorite place -- Zen Zero. I always get their Thai Spicy Basil Tofu dish.

The dogs were surprisingly well behaved as we ate outside on the patio. I guess we sufficiently wore them out.

Chris relaxes on ZenZero's patio with a Free State beer.

Then we had to hit up the BEST ice cream shop -- Sylas and Maddy's!! Mmmmmmmm. We walked our food off, but after that, headed back to the motel for reading and relaxation. We, unfortunately, couldn't head out to the bars, because every time we tried to leave the dogs in the motel room alone, they would bark like mad.

Sunday morning we got up and got a scone, muffin, and two coffees and headed back to the dog park to re-wear out the dogs. They had a great time again, and so did we.

We walked them around campus, and got this obligatory "family" portrait (minus Chris who doesn't claim KU, even though he loves it).

Then, it was lunch at our other favorite place -- Papa Keno's pizza! Of course, afterwards, another trip to Sylas and Maddy's. It's always the goal to hit that place up as many times as our stomachs will allow in a trip. This time it was twice, as we were only in town for about 24 hours. I then bought a new KU t-shirt (I love t-shirts), and Chris bought a growler from Free State Brewery along with a Free State t-shirt.

My Southwest pizza -- jalapenos, onions, tomatoes, and a little crumbled bacon!

Don't worry, he didn't eat it all!

It was such a great trip. I felt it helped renew my happiness, my outlook on the world, my outlook on our dogs (who behaved so well, unlike they have been lately), and our relationship got a much needed happiness charge. We had been in a bit of a sulky rut lately . . . this was just what we needed.

Rock Chalk Jayhawk, KU!

Share, Chicks, and fridge on the fritz

2010-05-02T21:24:00.009-05:00

Well, this will be quite the random post. A couple weeks ago, one of the schools I travel to was incubating eggs (ha! story of my life), and 7 adorable chicks were born! I couldn't believe the beautiful colorations they ended up with:

Also, the new Fair Shares Community Shared Agriculture season began two weeks ago! We are getting some delicious things, as usual. Here is just a small sampling:

Mild Cheddar from Mountain View, MO

Companion Bakery Strawberry Poundcake from St. Louis, MO

THE BEST preserves EVER!

Black Beans and Rice

A drawer FULL of farmer's greens (including some arugula that I am in the process of turning into pesto, but I forgot to buy lemons and pine nuts today)

Fresh mint -- anyone know if mint regenerates roots if you leave it in water?

AND -- CSA inspired chicken noodle soup. This is just the stock part of the process, but if you look closely, you can see our little whole chicken from our CSA. After making the stock, I built the soup with onions, carrots, celery, leeks, the chicken, the stock, and our CSA egg noodles. I will try to take a picture of the finished product soon, but I lost the daylight by the time the soup was finished.

And that brings us to the "fridge on the fritz" part of the blog . . . Friday, upon returning home from a long day at work and then out and about . . . we discovered that everything in our freezer was becoming quite soupy, and our fridge was growing warmer by the minute. DANG! We had just gotten all these delicious meats and such at our CSA. This would have been the perfect time for someone to prank call us and ask "if our refrigerator was running," because it wasn't, and that would have ruined their joke! So, our refrigerator was headed to the appliance grave yard. Fortunately our friends who live close by were able to offer their deep freeze to us until we found a new fridge.

We headed off to Lowes and Sears. We liked the refrigerators at Sears, but they just don't have the deals like Lowes does, AND they didn't have any of the fridges we wanted in stock. So, we headed back to Lowes where they were able to offer us free delivery and haul away, 0% financing for 12 months, and a pretty good price. AND, the best part, they were able to deliver the next day!

So, here she is, in all her glory, my new pride and joy . . .

You might wonder why I didn't dress her up for her online debut, and left her with blue tape and plastic in tact. Well . . . that's because the Lowes delivery guys dropped a dolly on the freezer door on their way into our house and created a huge dent. SOOOOO they have to come back out this week and bring us a new door. PLUS, they messed up the copper water line that hooks up the ice and water spouts, so they have to come back out to fix that too. Oh well, at least we have a working fridge and freezer again! AND, it's going to be so AWESOME to have crushed ice whenever I want! I LOVE crushed ice . . . almost as much as I love an organized fridge:

We went to Costco today and bought a HUGE pack of strawberries and a huge bag of bell peppers, so I got to cut some of them up and put them in the new freezer.

I can't wait to eat some crushed ice! It's the little things in life . . . nighty night . . . off to write a STUPID report for work (my FAVORITE part of the job).

End of NIAW and Beginning of Life

2010-05-02T16:49:00.004-05:00

Well, unfortunately I didn't find time to blog at all this past week, even though it was National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). I did, however, get the message out through e-mails to friends and family, as well as numerous Facebook posts of facts found on Resolve's website.

While I was talking about infertility, several close family members were demonstrating their fertility by having BABIES! On April 19th, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law had their twins (boy and girl). We went up to visit in the hospital that day (even though it was a 2 hour drive to get to them). We also visited the following weekend for an overnight visit with the new additions and the parents.

Chris and our new niece.

The new niece and me -- no pics of the nephew, because I tried to use pictures that didn't show their faces (to respect the privacy of their parents), and all the pictures I had of him were full facial shots.

THEN, on April 25th, my cousin's wife had her daughter!! I am to be named Godmother, which was a big honor for me, as I really love my cousin, his wife, and their 4-year-old daughter. I know I'm going to fall right in love with their newest addition! I didn't get any pictures on my visit Friday, but will be sure to take some at her christening and see about getting her mama's permission to post.

It was definitely hard to hear about and see these new babies (that aren't mine), but I really was happy and excited to hold and play with these 3 cuties. It was quite a mix of emotions. At times I was overwhelmed with the desire to have my own baby ASAP, and then other times I would think, yikes!, do I want babies?!?! Of course I DO want baby(ies), but they are hard work, and they change EVERYTHING!! It's hard to let your mind think of those potential changes to your life when you have to work so hard to try to procreate!

WDNNSB

2010-03-21T10:47:00.012-05:00

So, after my first IVF cycle failed, I had a revelation: I DON'T NEED A BABY TO MAKE ME HAPPY! It will, of course, add to my happiness when it happens. I realized that the more time I waste "waiting" for the next IVF cycle to happen, waiting for follicles to grow, waiting for results, waiting for egg retrieval, waiting for egg transfer, waiting to see if it worked . . . the more I let my life pass me by without truly living it! So, I am going to appreciate the time Chris and I have together, without children, because once we DO have kids our world will never be the same!

So, to commemorate this revelation, I planned a "We don't need no stinkin' babies party". I told everyone to bring a bottle of wine and/or a hunk of cheese. Katie was so thoughtful and brought some sushi, because, as she pointed out, I should do/eat all the things I wouldn't be able to if I were pregnant! The spread was comprised mainly of tids and bits from Trader Joe's (I didn't feel like doing my normal baking/cooking after a long work week). We put "flags" on the table so people could label their cheese. I got a few crappy pictures of the table before anyone got there (our cheeses were from our CSA):

Two of my biggest supports (fuzzy Chris and posing Katie):

We had such an awesome time! It was definitely our biggest turn out for a party, and everyone who came seemed to get along so well. Of course, I forgot to take pictures throughout the party, but Chris remembered toward the end and got these action shots:

We were playing this game called "Quelf" which can be quite hilarious, especially in a large group of people who are all drinking/drunk who don't know each other all that well:

I also made a playlist for the night of songs that make me happy. They may not all be about happy subjects, but they are songs that remind me of good times:

1. Accentuate the Positive . . . . Duke Ellington

2. Free Me . . . Joss Stone

3. Careless Whisper . . . Wham!

4. There's Always Someone Cooler Than You . . . Ben Folds

5. How It Should Be . . . Ben Kweller

6. Drink Me Away . . . Ben Kweller

7. Nugget . . . Cake

8. 1234 . . . Feist

9. Waltz (Better Than Fine) . . . Fiona Apple

10. Cruisin' . . . Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis

11. Louie . . . Ida Maria

12. At Least I Tried . . . Mates of State

13. Special . . . Mew

14. Billie Jean . . . Michael Jackson

15. Aeroplane Over The Sea . . . Neutral Milk Hotel

16. A Million Ways . . . OK Go

17. Brand New Colony . . . The Postal Service

18. On The Radio . . . Regina Spektor

19. Folding Chair . . . Regina Spektor

20. Circles . . . Soul Coughing

21. Shine A Light . . . Wolf Parade

22. Electric Feel . . . MGMT

23. In Step . . . Girl Talk

24. Shove It . . . Santogold

25. SheWolf . . . Shakira

Go get you some (not babies, music!)!

Bridge and Gitto's

2010-03-21T10:47:00.011-05:00

Two days after I got my "official" negative pregnancy test results from the Doctor's beta blood test . . . we had to attend my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's baby shower for their twins. While we are, of course, very happy for them, it was difficult at times being at the shower. So, we had planned on going out full force drinking later that evening!

We started at Bridge, which is a WONDERFUL new tap room and wine bar that is owned by Dave Bailey, who also owns Bailey's Chocolate Bar and Rooster. They have amazing beers and wines at Bridge, as well as delicious food and a unique selection of bar snacks! Katie, Chris, and I met Jenn and Justin there for some food and drinks:

I believe I had a Saison called "Dark Heather"??

Chris and Katie shared some beet powder, mustard, and honey popcorn.

Justin and Jenn split an appetizer of beets with goat cheese and caramelized onions . . . they said it was AWESOME.

Justin got some sort of pasta dish for his main course.

Jenn got a delicious looking toasted cheese sandwich with tomatoes. They serve their sandwiches with Billy Goat chips which are THE best!

Then it was off to Johnny Gitto's where we found these two:

I, of course, drank too much. In part, it was thanks to Katie K, who was encouraging continued drinking of beers:

Katie M and I did our usual take of "Ice Ice Baby" karaoke-style. We didn't get a picture . . . we have so many pictures of us doing this same song at Gitto's!

It was a great time, but of course I paid for it the next day!

You Know Who You Are

2010-03-06T22:31:00.004-06:00

I KNOW you are reading my blog thanks to my handy dandy travel feed: PLEASE, don't bother. You wanted me out of your life, so please stay out of mine (even if it is from afar).

Always look on the bright side of life, do do do do do do do

2010-02-26T21:43:00.002-06:00

No babies =

RIP . . .

2010-02-22T10:21:00.002-06:00

embryos. :(

Beggin Strips Pet Parade

2010-02-15T15:11:00.007-06:00

Every year, St. Louis puts on one of the largest Mardi Gras celebrations outside of New Orleans. Part of the celebration, and one of my favorites, is the annual pet parade! We unfortunately had to leave Ollie, our standard poodle, at home because he is a bit of a jerk to other dogs. Last year we brought him with a muzzle, and he still managed to snap at other dogs!! So, this year we just brought Wembley, our Wheaten Terrier. My brother came with his dog, Schaddy, who is a rescued pit bull mix. Chris and his brother came too. Here are some (pretty crappy) photos we took while down there:

Here's our Wembley

Wembley with Chris, my brother and Schaddy, and Matt, my brother-in-law

Schaddy likes to jump

I wish this picture had turned out better, because this Scotty dog in a flower pot was so cute.
Mrs. Puddles, another Wheaten Terrier. Her owners graciously gave us some treats to share with Wembley and Schaddy, although that resulted in Schaddy and Wembley getting into a pretty serious fight (Schaddy is very territorial about food).

Dreadlock dog

David and Schaddy

Also, in the spirit of Mardi Gras, every year I make a King Cake. I wasn't going to let the fact that I couldn't go down to the Mardi Gras parade (due to my egg transfer) get in the way of tradition! Here is this year's king cake (one of them, the other I'm taking to work with me):

Recipe for King Cake:

PASTRY:
1 cup milk
1/4 cup butter
2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
2/3 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
5 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
FILLING:
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
2/3 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup melted butter
FROSTING:
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 tablespoon water

Directions

Scald milk, remove from heat and stir in 1/4 cup of butter. Allow mixture to cool to room temperature. In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in the warm water with 1 tablespoon of the white sugar. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
When yeast mixture is bubbling, add the cooled milk mixture. Whisk in the eggs. Stir in the remaining white sugar, salt and nutmeg. Beat the flour into the milk/egg mixture 1 cup at a time. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 to 10 minutes.
Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth or plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 2 hours. When risen, punch down and divide dough in half.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Grease 2 cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
To Make Filling: Combine the brown sugar, ground cinnamon, chopped pecans, 1/2 cup flour and 1/2 cup raisins. Pour 1/2 cup melted butter over the cinnamon mixture and mix until crumbly.
Roll dough halves out into large rectangles (approximately 10x16 inches or so). Sprinkle the filling evenly over the dough and roll up each half tightly like a jelly roll, beginning at the wide side. Bring the ends of each roll together to form 2 oval shaped rings. Place each ring on a prepared cookie sheet. With scissors make cuts 1/3 of the way through the rings at 1 inch intervals. Let rise in a warm spot until doubled in size, about 45 minutes.
Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes. Push the doll into the bottom of the cake. Frost while warm with the confectioners' sugar blended with 1 to 2 tablespoons of water.

Happy Mardi Gras!!!

Go local, everyone else is doing it!

2010-02-15T14:52:00.004-06:00

Ok, so I don't think I've blogged about this at all, and we've been doing it for several months now! We are part of a local CSA (Community Shared Agriculture) called Fair Shares. So, all of the items in our share are locally grown, made, or raised. Every Thursday we get to go pick up our share (we have a partial share) and see what fun surprises we have! Here is a sampling of various items we have gotten that are still in our fridge/freezer/pantry:

I had NO idea that they grew rice in Missouri, but they do!!!

Fresh pasta from Mangia Italiano on Cherokee.

I'm not sure where these dried noodles came from?

Because it's the winter, we don't get much, if any, produce. But, come Spring and Summer, this CSA share is going to be so awesome! I feel very lucky that we get to experience this. There is a waiting list of over 150 people wanting to get a share from the Fair Shares CSA!!

It has been fun trying to come up with way to use the items we get from our CSA! I got a jar of pumpkin puree a while back that turned into a FABULOUS soup! I just made up the recipe, and never would have done so if I hadn't received a jar of pumpkin puree that I had to find something to do with.

3, it's the magic number!

2010-02-15T14:45:00.004-06:00

Well, today (last Thursday) was the day . . . we transfered two embryos into my cozy uterus. One of the embryos was a seven cell, and the other was an eight cell. The doctor said they look for between 6 and 9 cells. And, here they are, for their internet debut:

It's so cool to know, that if these embryos turn into babies, we will have pictures of them before they were more than 8 cells!!!!

I put on quite the show. There were a lot of people in the egg transfer room today: the RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist), an intern to the RE, two nurses, the ultra sound nurse, the ultra sound nurse's intern, and Chris and me. After they got the catheter in, someone from the embryology lab brought in my two embryos to be inserted via catheter. They told us to watch for the flash of light on the ultra sound screen on the count of three, and sure enough, there was a big flash of light when the embryos were placed inside. It was so cool, like a big bang of life in my uterus. I don't know why I got so emotional, but I started crying. I was so happy to see actual embryos being placed in my uterus, I told them all it was the most pregnant I've ever been.

Then they wheeled me into the other room to lie down for 30 minutes before they discharged me. I get to go in for a blood pregnancy test (beta) in two weeks, February 25th. This will be a LONG two weeks! But, as I have seen others who are going through this journey write, "I am pregnant until proven otherwise!"

In a dish down the street . . .

2010-02-15T14:43:00.001-06:00

there are 16 eggs fertilized and growing! I got my fertilization report today (I wrote this last Tuesday). We started out with 18 eggs, 1 of which was not mature enough. Of the 17 remaining, 16 fertilized!!!! Those are some good odds! They used ICSI (where they put the sperm into the egg with a microscopic needle) on 9 of the eggs, and let the remaining 8 fertilize naturally. Eight out of the 9 ICSI eggs fertilized, and 8 out of 8 fertilized naturally!

Now we wait for tomorrow to find out how they're progressing! We could either have a transfer on Thursday (2/11) or on Saturday (2/13). I'm hoping for Saturday so I don't have to miss anymore work!

Recantation

2010-02-15T14:37:00.004-06:00

You know what, I decided to recant that last statement about not blogging about my infertility struggles on this blog. That is part of my life right now, and I like blogging about it on this blog. So, as for the person who I didn't want peering into my life, I am doing this for myself, and I shouldn't worry about who else is reading it.

On that note, let me catch you up on the big events you have missed (pictures to follow):

So, we started our second IVF attempt after returning from the cruise. This time my ovaries responded quite well. I developed 30+ mature-ish follicles. But, my doctors were worried because my e2 (estradiol/estrogen) level was way too high (3700+) and I ran the risk (and still do) of developing OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome). But, miraculously, my doctors let me go through with egg retrieval. I went in last Monday morning at 6:45 am. The nurses and staff were very nice and tried their best to comfort me. I was crying because I was so scared. When they hooked me up to the heart rate monitor it sounded like a hummingbird's heartbeat. After some prepping and consultation, the anesthesiologist came in to start my IV. He was very nice, and gave me a numbing shot so that inserting the IV wouldn't hurt. Those anesthesiologists are the best! So then they wheeled me into the operating room. They gave me a nice, warmed blanket and put my feet up into the comfiest stirrups I've ever been placed in. They were ultra padded, plush stirrups. Why doesn't everyone have coushy stirrups?! Next thing I knew the room started to fade out and I was out like a light. I woke up in the recovery room to Chris and my mom standing over me. I felt pretty crampy when I woke up, so the nurse gave me some pain meds through my IV as well as a Tylenol. They brought me some apple juice and graham crackers, since I hadn't eaten or drank anything since 10pm the night before. They came back in to tell me that they retrieved 18 eggs!! I was so happy. Although, I dreamed that they would retrieve 22 eggs, so I was a little disappointed at my lack of being psychic. But, I couldn't complain!

Then the nurse gave Chris a lesson on how to give me my PIO (Progesterone In Oil) shots -- the ones with the 1 1/2 inch needle that had me shaking just thinking about it. But, surprisingly it didn't hurt. She circled with a permanent marker the spot that Chris needs to aim for when he does it. I have to take these shots once a day for eight weeks (if this results in a pregnancy).

After that we signed some discharge papers and I was free to go home. My dad came over to stay with me while Chris went to work. Really, I didn't need anybody after all, because I wasn't all that uncomfortable.

My brother-in-law stopped by in the afternoon to drop off flowers. That was so sweet and thoughtful. It was nice to know that they acknowledge the struggle we are going through.

Everything turned out better than expected -- and a lot less painful than expected. I would do it again, but hope, with all my heart, that I don't have to!!